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Bernie lost her friend Karla to a drug overdose in 2005

Dear Karla,

You would have been 35 years old this year. You left this earth too soon. I remember meeting you, you were beautiful. You had this shy smile that was infectious and I felt you were always paying attention to everything around you. People were drawn to you, but you had this darkness inside of you that you would not share. We had so much fun with you...in Ang's white truck. I loved picking you up after school and contemplating what fun things we were going to do together. It never felt complete without you. Ang and I would sit in our room listening to records and it didn’t feel right with you in class. We missed you even then. The night we made time machines at the base of Lombard street was my favorite. We laughed so hard, I remember your laugh. It was contagious. Was it raining? I can’t remember, I just remember the rolling laughter. You had so many great ideas. You were a true artist.

I am writing to tell you that I am so sorry. I am sorry I didn’t fight harder for you. I didn't understand your pain at the time, or rather know what to do with it. It looked familiar. It wasn’t until you left that I understood. We tried to protect you, trying to take you from his house, but he had already gotten too deep inside your head, you were losing trust for us. We thought contacting your family was a good idea, but they were such a mystery, because you didn’t talk about them, that now I wonder if they were worse than him. What happened when you went home? We came to see you and you asked to come with us but you wouldn’t tell us why you wanted to leave. We couldn’t take you back to him but we couldn’t leave you there. What were we to do? I wish I took you home with me and just hugged you in my arms. I would have taken better care of you and I am so sorry. You are a sister and I should have protected you when you didn’t feel you had a voice. I miss you so much. I wish we knew more about how you left us. I know you were with him. I think he flew you back to LA and that is when it happened. I hope you felt loved. I hope you knew how much we loved you and how much we cared. I will see you again and thank you for being my roommate and friend.

Love Bernie

Bernie Dickson is a Mama of two rad boys (with special needs) and married to the best man. She is a Freelance graphic designer/photographer and Co-owner of a healthy popsicle company called Mom and Pop shop. “I believe in fate, the love this universe has for each of us and that there is more good in this world than bad.” - Bernie