Zoe Kasiske
listen
Zoe lost her Grandma, Margery in 2012 to Cancer.
Hi Grandma,
I can't believe it's been 7 years since you left us. I still remember so clearly laying on the couch in your living room every day for the entire week before you died - I remember the distinct scent of your house and the creaking of the wood floor as we all walked around in silence. I couldn't bare to take that one final minute alone with you, everyone rotated going into your bedroom by themselves for their last moment in your presence and when it came my turn, I said I already went. Sometimes I beat myself up over not saying goodbye, but selfishly, I refused for that to be my last moment with you. That was the evening of April 8th 2012, we all left the house by 8 PM and you left us in the middle of the night.
I still don't understand how you were taken from us so soon. You were the heartbeat of our family, the one who, no matter what noise was happening around us, stayed optimistic and supportive. You would be so proud of the way our family has carried on the tradition of our family gathering. Mom hosts now, she has everyone over for Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Mothers Day and sometimes, Passover. We ALWAYS have sunflowers in your honor and when Grandpa Herb comes, it's extra special. I know he misses you so much.
On a lighter note, I have so many updates for you! A few months before you died, I met Josh. He never got to meet you but he's knows allllllll about you, he knows about our scrabble nights, and our sleepovers, and how you would make me a bialy whenever I stayed home from school (half with Butter and half with melted cheese), and of course, he knows that you used to wave to me from the back of the carpool line and I would say ever single time, grandma don't wave- it's so embrassing. I keep that pillow you knitted me on my dresser and one day, when I start embrassing my kids in carpool line, I can't wait to tell them the story. And YES, I have kids! I'll skip the boring shit from when I met Josh to when we had kids but you have two great grandchildren (well actually you have 7 but two are mine), Calvin is two and Lincoln is 5 months. Sometimes I still feel like a teen mom because well neither of them were planned, we aren't married, and when I told mom I was pregnant she asked if I was in control of my life, guess that's a valid question, right? I can't wait to tell them all about you, I still don't think it's real to me that they will never get to meet you. Lily has two kids also, Roger and Dolly. Between the two of us, we have four kids under 3 and they are the best of friends, it would make you so happy. They call mom Nana! She is the most incredible nana, reminds me of you and how much you loved and cared for every ounce of our being so much. I know mom misses you a ton, she is doing really well, you would be so incredibly proud.
I miss you Grandma, we all miss you. We talk about you, we tell stories about you, and we honor you everyday. Oh, and you probably know this but Mutti died a couple years after you, it gave me such peace you two would be together again.
Love you forever,
Zoe
Zoe is an LA Native living in Mar Vista with her husband and their two little adventure buddies, Calvin, 2 years, and Lincoln, 5 months